We've been home for a few weeks now and getting into the rhythms of life and ministry in Ukraine. With my health we've been trying to go slow and ease into things but it has been difficult to not just jump back into the busyness of life when pastoring a church. We forget about all the little things that come up in pastoral ministry until the end of the week when we realize that it is too much. I did really well for the first couple of weeks with very little head pain and enough energy but after a poor night's sleep on Saturday and preaching on Sunday, I've been feeling poorly today.
There have been some big changes in our ministry as I've taken over leadership of In Lumine Media. The overall workload of In Lumine shouldn't be too much, but these last few weeks have been filled with me figuring out everything I need to know about book publishing, business, bookkeeping, etc in order to figure out how we are going to move forward. I love this ministry and am excited to be a part of it but at the same time I'm worried about how I'm going to balance it with my pastoral responsibilities and the rest I need to recover. God is teaching me to trust him more in not feeling like I have to always be planning and getting things on track. I know I don't have to always be thinking about my "to-do" list but often I find it fills my thoughts and keeps me awake. So slowly I'm learning how let go of things that are in the future.
Yesterday I preached for the first time in 6 months. I enjoyed spending time studying all week and teaching the first half of I John 3 (sermon notes are online here if you are interested). Liese lead worship for the first time in nearly a year (and in my opinion she rocked).
On the one hand it is really good to be home and to be with our friends. On the other hand I'm still sick, it is hard adjusting to a new workload with In Lumine and the limits of my illness, there are so many things that remind us of the loss and pain of last year, and it has been really hard seeing some of our close friends here going through some very difficult things. People keep asking if we are glad to be back home and we are still trying to figure out what the answer is.